Seven Old Ladies – best version

**If ever in VEGAS, see Nine Fine Irishmen LIVE! So much fun!

Chorus–
6 5 6 5 7 6 -5 5
Oh dear, what can the matter be?
-5 -5 -5 -5 -4 5 -5 5 -5 -6 6 -5
Seven old ladies got stuck in the lava’try
6 6 5 -4 -5 -4 7 6 -5 5
They were there from Sunday thru Saturd’y
-4 5-5 -5 5 -4 4
Nobody knew they were there

Verse–
5 6 6 6 5 -5 6 5 7 6 5
The first old lady was Elizabeth Porter.
-5 -5 -5 -5-4 5 -5 -4 5 6 5
She was the deacon of Dorchester’s daughter.
5 6 6 6 6 5 -5 6 5 7 6 5
She went to relieve a slight pressure of water
4 -4 5-5 -5 5 -4 4
And nobody knew she was there.
Chorus

The second old lady was Abigail Splatter
She went there ’cause something was surely the matter
But when she got there, it was only her bladder.
And nobody knew she was there.
Chorus

The third old lady was old Mrs. Bickle.
Her urge was sincere, her reaction was fickle.
She hurdled the door; she’d forgotten her nickel
And nobody knew she was there.
Chorus

The fourth old lady was Hildegard Folye.
She hadn’t been living according to Hoyle.
Was relieved when the swelling was only a boil
And nobody knew she was there.
Chorus

The fifth old lady was Emily Clancy.
She went there ’cause something tickled her fancy.
But when she got there it was ants in her pantsy
And nobody knew she was there.
Chorus

The sixth old lady was extremely fertile.
Her name was O’Connor, the boys called her Myrtle.
She went there to repair a slight hole in her girdle
And nobody knew she was there.
Chorus

The seventh old lady was Elizabeth Bender.
She went there to repair a broken suspender.
It snapped up and ruined her feminine gender
And nobody knew she was there.
Chorus